In case my teammates are reading this, and are wondering what they may or may not have done to annoy me, look no further because I will be taking this name by name. Yes, I like violence.
My team is made up of these 6 individuals: Iretomiwa (team lead AKA my agba), Oluwasegun, Nifesi, Victoria, Tobi and Abiola. When I told Abiola I was writing this, he asked that I not put his name. Abiola, dey play. We are starting with you.
-
Abiola Adegoke aka Strong Face
You know when you first come into an office and expect all smiles and warm welcomes. Well, I did, and I didn’t get this from Abiola. Let me explain; Abiola seemed to be more accommodating online than he was in person, or maybe it’s because he no really send my papa. But overtime Abiola and I continued speaking and I have come to realise he’s a really nice guy. Bonus points for him being a photographer.
2.Tobi Durojaiye aka T-Tobs
I met Tobi outside the ID Africa office in December on my first day of work. And immediately, I realised that I knew him from somewhere. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure if it was the hunger that followed me from home that was distorting my vision or if I actually knew him.
I figured my village people were not playing football with memory, because I codedly asked him and confirmed we attended the same secondary school – Dansol. My fellow ‘Daniel’ (inside joke, if you don’t get it, forget about it).
But that’s the thing, I knew him but did Tobi know me? Nope.
I have now made it an everyday agenda to make sure that doesn’t happen again. It’s me and him in that office for the next one year, in the words of feral Nigerian twitter users, “dem no dey tell person”.
3. Victoria Ushebi and Nifesi Adefila aka The Girls
I spent the last two hours thinking deeply of how these two women might have annoyed me. And I know this may seem like a case of “women supporting women” but nothing comes to mind.
The 2024 mantra of ‘no gree for anybody’ will come into play in this situation because this is an official IOU, ladies. I will be back on how Victoria and Nifesi have stepped on the lion’s tail (it’s me, I’m the lion). Until then.
4. Oluwasegun Ogundairo aka Zaddy
Oluwasegun’s first words to me were that I was wearing ritual earrings! To be honest, he didn’t say it like that (before I get dragged for libel) but that is my ‘Yoruba mother’ interpretation of his words. He took notice of my earrings while we were at the office and asked if I knew the meaning of the symbol on them.
FYI, Oluwasegun, I bought it from Iya Alaje at Abule-egba market, of course I don’t know what it means.
5. Iretomiwa Akintunde-Johnson aka Boss
To those reading this and waiting in anticipation for what I’m going to say here, may your phone not break. You really think I’ll say my agba annoyed me?
Nothing do you, my boss. I’m loyal.
