Sex is a such bomb thing.
I mean, it’s so bomb that, millions of songs have been written for it, millions of movies have been made around it, wars have been started and ended with sex, the f*cking porn industry (pun intended) is globally estimated to be worth $97 billion.
So it wasn’t a surprise to me when I saw that ‘Day xx without sex…” was trending on Twitter.
Some of us are so suave and smooth that it’s easy to get p*ssy or d*ck thrown at us, others, well, they may be too busy to ‘get it’ or they just ain’t that sleek.
So please sit back, relax and enjoy the 100 funniest tweets from this trend.
day 349 without sex: checked my grades online so I can remember how it feels to be fucked
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
Day 288 without sex: My barber ran his fingers through my hair and I accidentally moaned pic.twitter.com/CaEmzlQB4U
— Baby (@lilquiickscope) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/Xoxo_Kelsnicole/status/1020272481331015682
https://twitter.com/Appreciiationn/status/1020232825424044032
https://twitter.com/Appreciiationn/status/1020380536542498819
https://twitter.com/dirtydierks1/status/1021204655974506496
Day 1046 without sex: the demon in my closet is looking kinda sexy pic.twitter.com/jhIUn5BgLD
— brooke (@nikeyhes) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/BillyBobSanderz/status/1021190391540867072
https://twitter.com/melodyelisee/status/1021104549271138304
https://twitter.com/kendrajeuiit/status/1021250883479252992
Day 543 without sex: ran out in the rain to remember what it was like to get wet
— kpb. 🪴🦋 (@kels_2014) July 23, 2018
Day 67 without sex: my mom slapped me and I turned around and said “harder”
— Andy Schuring (@AndySchuring32) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/_babeintoyland/status/1021239057915920385
https://twitter.com/IssaSassyBitch/status/1021195680973549568
https://twitter.com/aschroeder8/status/1021183758156910593
Day 624 without sex stopped taking my pills so I could hear a voice call my name again
— MiRAJ (@606MiRAJ) July 22, 2018
day 850 without sex: my hair stylist pulled my hair and i said thank you
— laur (@laurennhensel) July 22, 2018
Day 725 without sex: Not needed coz my life fucks me daily
— Zahida Allen (@xZahida) July 22, 2018
Day 167 without sex: this chocolate ice cream looking dumb retarded thicc that I might risk it all pic.twitter.com/Di0ZHZ98jc
— Nando (@iNand0) July 21, 2018
Day 463 without sex: Didn't study the whole semester just so that I could get fucked by my finals
— Hareez (@HareezNadzree) July 20, 2018
Day 267 without sex: Told security I had drugs up my arse just to get cavity searched
— Tom (@mctom11) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/withoutsexdaily/status/1020395092249587713
https://twitter.com/withoutsexdaily/status/1020354824746004480
Day 3 without sex: considering taking up boxing because I've forgot what it's like to take a pounding
— danielleoharaaa (@danielleoharaaa) July 19, 2018
https://twitter.com/jmashh_/status/1020727915946921985
https://twitter.com/withoutsexdaily/status/1020112132262809605
https://twitter.com/withoutsexdaily/status/1020029129045966849
https://twitter.com/withoutsexdaily/status/1020024191557488641
https://twitter.com/Appreciiationn/status/1020004433323847680
Day 457 without sex: the company ‘Virgin’ are suing me for copyright
— 🤧 (@Scarlet4UrMa) July 21, 2018
day 482 without sex: I made chicken breasts for dinner just so I could have some tits in my mouth
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 21, 2018
https://twitter.com/withoutsexdaily/status/1020284961172180993
https://twitter.com/reaIDonaldTrunp/status/1019993847714197504
Day 3728 without sex: enrolled at MTSU because I heard they got some thing called the Pipeline
— zay (@issacc_philom) July 19, 2018
day 650 without sex: googling how to get possessed by a demon because i just want something inside me
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 19, 2018
Day 7393 without sex: the hairdresser pulled my hair back and I said "harder"
— tatiana thee gonzalez (@tatianagonxalez) July 20, 2018
day 528 without sex: about to have my ribs removed so I can suck my own dick
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
https://twitter.com/666virghoe/status/1020059528103170050
Day 465 without sex: bought a subway just to remember what it was like to put 12 inches in my mouth#dayswithoutsex
— days without sex (@dayswitout_sex) July 19, 2018
day 344 without sex: starting to think the vacuum is giving me suggestive looks
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 21, 2018
day 9 without sex: was surfing through pornhub and saw this pic.twitter.com/vR9F1O505z
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 719 without sex: filled up my doctors appointment sheet and wrote "yes please" when they asked for my sex
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 77 without sex: I shook my can of beer before I opened it so it would squirt in my face
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 349 without sex: checked my grades online so I can remember how it feels to be fucked
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 167 without sex: I used a back scratcher today and my nipples got hard
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 1328 without sex: pic.twitter.com/TDzNYgEZxQ
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 595 without sex: I went over a speed bump and let out a moan
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 8 without sex: offered to breast feed a baby so someone would suck my titties
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 20, 2018
day 18 without sex: I banged the door and i wet myself
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 19, 2018
day 523 without sex: got a D in my exam i think my lecturer is giving me hints
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 19, 2018
day 69 without sex: my phone vibrated in my lap and i almost came
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 19, 2018
day 19 without sex: someone said “who’s a good girl” at the dog park and I said “me daddy”
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 19, 2018
day 80 without sex: went bowling just so I could finger something
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 18, 2018
day 48 without sex: I went to church to remember what it’s like being on my knees
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 18, 2018
day 213 without sex: plugged my charger into my phone and whispered “you like that?”
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 18, 2018
day 400 without sex: my priest said I will be punished for my sins I said yes daddy thank you
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 18, 2018
day 201 without sex: pic.twitter.com/SzeDfPu746
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 18, 2018
day 278 without sex: I made Siri call me daddy
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
Day 13 without sex and i ate popeyes biscuits with no drink just so i could get choked
— T (@_aitym) July 18, 2018
day 79 without sex: everything looks like a vagina
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
day 180 without sex: I'm starting to loose hearing on my left eye
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
day 67 without sex: Acted suspicious in an airport so someone would frisk search and touch me
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
day 782 without sex: whoever has my voodoo doll please finger it
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
day 4 without sex : i think i'm going blind
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
day 34 without sex: tried to get arrested so a man would handcuff me
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
day 120 without sex: A mosquito sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
day 147 without sex: when my grandmother told me to shut up i bit my lip and said make me
— days without sex (@penisesandboobs) July 17, 2018
https://twitter.com/ablsaint/status/1019703597477613568
Day 671 without sex: at this point I ask every restaurant for finadene so I have something to dip my meat into
— Jose vs. The World (@joeterlaje) July 18, 2018
https://twitter.com/_ariana_13_/status/1019352760603439104
Day 265 without sex: I had to let a mosquito perch on my ass so that I could smack myself.
It felt electrifying. pic.twitter.com/9S9mdvk0vL
— Angels in Heaven 🧚♀️🧚♂️ (@badgalmaddie_) July 17, 2018
day 96 without sex: i shook my soda before opening it so it would bust all over my face
— noodle (@meg_schultz) July 17, 2018
https://twitter.com/noturmcm/status/1019317689511305216
https://twitter.com/HebaMh_/status/1019300209879343104
Day 46 without sex:
Licked the priests finger when he put the communion bread in my mouth— Caolán (@Caolan_Walsh) July 17, 2018
Day ??? without sex: I ate an expired candy bar so I could remember what its like to be disappointed by 4 inches
— ian (@winedadinc) July 17, 2018
https://twitter.com/Appreciiationn/status/1019052187903807491
https://twitter.com/viewsfromjay23/status/1018981032484392966
https://twitter.com/EmilyEarl2/status/1018947551549009920
https://twitter.com/randalovesbacon/status/1019061282572587008
https://twitter.com/trenth11/status/1018997384343379969
https://twitter.com/AshYarham1/status/1018926758333222912
https://twitter.com/BigLez10/status/1018889781361676294
https://twitter.com/PRINCE_VIIII/status/1018793417445445632
Day 55 without sex: going to canes just so I can get a three finger combo
— sabrina (@italiannacho) July 15, 2018
Day 284 without sex: I've bought one of this chairs so I can feel whats is like to get my hair pulled again pic.twitter.com/vzGvjWmc8y
— vm la local (@localmelocoton) July 14, 2018
https://twitter.com/richeeeeee/status/1018187604120854528
day 39171 without sex: my virginity grew back
— deissy❥ (@dflowerssss) July 14, 2018
Day 175 without sex: the waitress said put the tip in and I shivered a little
— Toby Hague (@Tobyashi95) July 16, 2018
Day 456 without sex:
A door just hit my ass on the way out and I called it daddy😩
— Shawn (@Sdurrett98) July 15, 2018
https://twitter.com/en_jajaja/status/1018373563751981056
Day 71 without sex: my smart watch thinks I’ve jogged 3 miles today but I havent left the hosue
— Joey (@m_cGuire) July 13, 2018
https://twitter.com/overlordbnjmnz/status/1017568060624945152
Day 500 without sex: https://t.co/1TuFCQ5jFG
— IG: @Ludachris_ (@LudaChris_) July 12, 2018
Day 158 without sex: I purposely put my necklace on a little too tight so I can pretend I’m getting choked
— sai (@Saisailu97) July 12, 2018
Day 274 without sex: my sleep paralysis demon is starting to look kinda thicc
— 🤪 Lmaolivia (@Pissedoffhotdog) July 12, 2018
Day 274 without sex: my sleep paralysis demon is starting to look kinda thicc
— 🤪 Lmaolivia (@Pissedoffhotdog) July 12, 2018
Day 52 without sex currently going blind in my left nostril
— O (@7for_Omankind) July 12, 2018
https://twitter.com/ehjovan/status/1017238100848803846
https://twitter.com/hoodcuIture/status/1017215801923899392
https://twitter.com/_hinalpatel_/status/1017169308550615042
https://twitter.com/pukeb0nes/status/1016831166480027649
Day #534 without sex: https://t.co/xcuUvUY6P7
— Jacob | يعقوب, MA (@Dbazed_) July 9, 2018
Day 394 without sex: I can see John Cena.
— ŘØØҜŁ¥Ň ŞΔŇŦΔŇΔ (@Rooklyn_Santana) July 9, 2018
Day 209 without sex: I’ve been parking in all of my friends driveways so I have something to pull out of
— ry guy (@ryanzydek) July 9, 2018
https://twitter.com/_BrockaFlocka/status/1016206706982805504
Day 47 without sex: brushing my teeth this morning got excited when my toothbrush made me gag.
— Panda (@Blondenotbasic) July 9, 2018
https://twitter.com/girlsthat_hoop/status/1016128568638820352
https://twitter.com/Cherdleys/status/1016092571255238656
Day 196 without sex: I went to the market to get a watermelon and got a little turned on slapping it trying to see if it was a good one :/
— Tio Mike (@TheRealMikeskee) July 7, 2018
day 27 without sex: my pastor just told me to shut up and i said “make me 😏”
— Cupid’s Nut ♥ (@damn_lui) July 6, 2018
https://twitter.com/DTP_DRIP/status/1014965034298982401
Day 127 without sex: Wendy Williams is looking kinda thick https://t.co/XAe49qw6Wp
— Corlin. (@OGCORLIN) July 6, 2018
day 1497 without sex and my senses are heightened. i can smell people's emotions. i can hear colour. i whisper and the nearest building collapses. i feel no pain.
— Joe (@averagely_joe) July 5, 2018
https://twitter.com/bombchelle87/status/1014715614928277509
https://twitter.com/MirGucci/status/1014637876129214465
Day 453 without sex and the homeboys starting to look a lil cute
— Nuni (@Milan_orMulan) July 3, 2018
Day 273 without sex, I have now developed night vision
— Don Jullian (@jcoronadoclark) July 1, 2018
day 234 without sex: I can astral project at will pic.twitter.com/DXuq5Anycv
— 𝕷𝖔𝖘 ☼ ☽ 🇵🇦 (@SOULJALOS) July 1, 2018
https://twitter.com/RealBeardedDre/status/1010699617258917888
https://twitter.com/Daddyissues__/status/1008126414896295936
day 72 without sex: dehydrated and breaking out
— 𝟒𝟒𝟒 (@JASMINEllV) June 6, 2018
day 22 without sex: at this point my pussy is about to shrivel up and die and become dust
— sara tonin (@electricpunany) May 11, 2018
Day 5318 without sex: I get a boner by eating donuts
— Anders Johnsen (@AndersJohnseen) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/justrhianne_/status/1021350765493915648
Day 576 without sex https://t.co/U6wuYX4bkh
— Eyaaz Matwadia (@The_EyaazO) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/UnrulyRecky/status/1021345499838930946
day 328 without sex; got on the merry-go-round at the fair so i knew what it was like to ride again
— Starla Dichambiau (@StarlaDichambia) July 23, 2018
Day 684 without sex: I pissed my cat off so i could remember what it was like to be scratched.
— Nic 🍕 (@niclascarroll) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/softhoneypot/status/1021342867564851200
Wow you actually made it to the end… you must really relate.
